Another rough weekend

So, I’m really starting to wonder if I’m cut out for ‘step parenting’. It only took half a day with the kid for me to melt down. I just don’t get it. I rarely let an adult push my buttons, how does a 12 year old kid have such an easy time getting under my skin? I’m getting so worried that if I can’t get my shit together and not let his attacks get to me I’m going to lose the love of my life. I feel so bad about not being the influence I should be, and that I’m just acting like a kid when gets to me. I had to leave last night and take a drive to cool down. I threw up twice because I was so shaken. I sent messages to both of my parents this morning apologizing for being difficult and snotty as a kid. Now I truly know how it must have felt to them when I said things weren’t good enough in my childhood. Man, I was naive back then.

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2 comments

  1. Steve · August 2, 2010

    Take what you know now, and how you thought things through as a kid. This isn’t new territory, everyone has their time to be what they were, now it’s time to be what you are. You can settle for things as they are, but this is your life it isn’t the kid that defines what you do, how you are, or how you feel. It’s always harder to start something than finish it. It sounds like its time for you to define you and your loved ones path and hope the kid follows. Remember, you don’t follow the kid the kid follows the parents.

    • theshep913 · August 2, 2010

      Good advice, Steve. One question, do I know you? LOL

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